多年来，我曾在姑息治疗。我的病人是那些谁已经回家了死。一些令人难以置信的特殊时刻也有同感。我对他们在过去的三到十周的生活。
人长大了很多，当他们对自己面临死亡。我学会了永远不要低估一个人的成长能力。有些变化是惊人的。每一个经历了各种情绪，如预期，否认，恐惧，愤怒，悔恨，再持否定态度，并最终接受。每一个病人，才发现自己的和平离开虽然，他们每个人。
当被问及什么遗憾，他们已经或任何事情，他们会做出不同的质疑，共同的主题出现了一次又一次。下面是最常见的五种：
1。我希望我有勇气让自己的生命真实的自己，不是别人的生活对我的期望。
这是最常见的遗憾。当人们意识到他们的生活已接近尾声，回头看得很清楚，很容易，看看有多少梦想已经无法兑现。大多数人甚至没有履行自己的梦想一死了一半，知道这是由于他们已作出选择，或没有作出。
这是非常重要的尝试和荣誉至少沿途你的一些梦想。的那一刻起，你失去健康，为时已晚。健康带来了自由，很少有人知道，直到他们不再有它。
2。我希望我没有工作那么辛苦。
这是从我的每一位男性病人护理。他们错过了孩子的青年和他们的伙伴的陪伴。妇女还谈到了这个遗憾。然而，大多数是从老一代，很多病人的女性没有经济支柱。所有护理深表遗憾我花了一个跑步机等工作存在许多人的生命。
通过简化你的生活方式，使沿途有意识的选择，它有可能不是需要收入，你认为你做的。并创造更多的生活空间，你变得更快乐，更开放的新的机会，更适合您的新的生活方式。
3。我希望我有胆量表达自己的感情。
许多人压抑自己的感情，以保持与他人的和平。因此，他们定居的一个平庸的存在和从来没有成为他们是谁真正成为能力。许多发达国家的疾病有关的苦涩和怨恨，他们因此而获得通过。
我们无法控制别人的反应。然而，人们最初的反应可能会当你改变你的方式是通过讲实话，但最终它提出了一个全新的关系和健康水平。如果不是这样，它释放你的生活中不健康的关系。无论哪种方式，你赢了。
4。我希望我和我的朋友保持联系留了下来。
通常他们不会真正实现自己的老朋友，直到临终周全部利益，它并不总是可以跟踪他们。许多人变得如此陷入了自己的生活，他们已让金友谊支路多年来通过。有许多关于不给友谊的时间和精力，他们理应深表遗憾。大家都很想念他们的朋友时，他们正在死去。
这是任何人共同在一个繁忙的生活方式，让友谊支路。但是当你与你的接近死亡面前，生命的物理细节消失。人们想要得到，如果可能为了自己的财政事务。但它不是金钱或地位，保存为他们真正的重要性。他们想要得到的，以便为他们所热爱的利益更多的事情。通常情况下，虽然，他们太疲惫有史以来生病，管理这项工作。这是所有涉及到爱，最后的关系。这就是，在最后几个星期，爱和关系仍然存在。
5。我希望我让自己变得更幸福。
这是一个很常见的。许多人并不知道，直到结束，幸福是一种选择。他们坚持留在旧模式和习惯。所谓的'舒适'进入自己的情绪满溢的熟悉程度，以及他们的肉体生命。害怕改变了他们假装给别人，自己，他们是内容。当内心深处，他们渴望笑适当和生活中有愚蠢了。
当您在弥留之际是什么，别人对你的看法是从你的头脑很长的路要走。多么美妙能够放手的笑容，你要死很久以前。
人生是一种选择。这是你的生命。自觉选择，明智的选择，选择诚实。
选择快乐。
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, but in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.
Choose happiness.
